Wet-Talkers

One of my pet peeves is the phenomenon that I call the “wet-talker”. The wet-talker is someone who makes a slight smacking noise when he or she talks. Really that’s not quite accurate but it’s the best way I can describe it. Every time the wet-talker opens his mouth to speak you hear a gross, moist sound as if they have way too much saliva in their mouth.

The worst place to hear a wet-talker is on the radio and the worst wet-talkers on the radio reside at NPR. Most of their hosts are wet-talkers. Most of their guests are wet-talkers. Heck, even the people that do their advertising spots are wet-talkers (I’m exaggerating – but not by much). Surely this can’t be a hiring criterion for NPR. There can’t be a place on NPR’s broadcaster application that says “Are you a wet-talker?” Can there? Maybe it’s the microphones they use; maybe they’re so sensitive that they turn everyone into a wet-talker. Maybe wet-talking is a common condition of the snooty northeasterner, which is what NPR’s broadcast team almost exclusively consists of. I don’t know. All I know is that on most other radio stations I rarely hear wet-talkers and when I do, they’re usually guests on a talk show, not the everyday host.

Anyway, please join my crusade to stamp out wet-talking on the airwaves by writing your congressman and the FCC and asking them to ban wet-talking on all frequencies.

Thank you for your support.

Bears Join The War On Terror

This is why I love Jonah Goldberg!

An excerpt from his comments on the militant-killing bear story:

…President Obama said, “Bears are still our valued allies, but we can no longer pursue the arrogant policy of unilaterally supporting one member of the animal kingdom over another.”

Genius!

Happy Halloween!

Since it’s Halloween I thought I would post some of the things that scare me the most…

These people are running our country…oooohhhh…it gives me chills just thinking about it.

Be safe and have a happy Halloween!

First Day Of School

Today was my oldest daughter’s first day of Kindergarten. My wife stays home with both my daughters (ages 5 and 4) and has ever since they were born. Needless to say, she had mixed emotions today. Excited to see her baby take that next big step…and apprehensive and sad to see her baby take that next big step.

So we get to the school and escort my daughter to her room to make sure she gets settled in. The teacher (who we had met last week at “Meet The Teacher” night) was talking to a group of parents and said “I have to admit that I’m the teacher that you’ve heard about who accidentally let a student get on the bus when he was supposed to be picked up by his parents last year”. Uh…great…thanks for putting all of us first-timers at ease. But my daughter was in line and ready when we came to pick her up.

My wife said that today was the longest day of her life. We (me, my wife and my youngest daughter) ran some errands today and went to some fun places so that my youngest would have a special day too. Approximately every 15 minutes my wife would ask what time it was. But overall she handled the day pretty well.

The most touching part of the day happened this morning when we were walking up to the school. My youngest girl was having almost as hard a time as my wife. She and her older sister have spent pratically every day together for the last four years. We could tell she was going to miss her closest friend. As we walked across the lawn my youngest daughter spied a little patch of buttercups and went and picked two of them. She handed the shorter one to her sister and said “Here, you take the small one and it will remind you of me. I’ll keep the big one to remind me of you.”

Everyone together now. Awwwwwww…